Single Parent Tips

On Being a Special Parent - Love Makes All the Difference

By Mary Hernandez

For most single moms, our lives are not as we had once planned. Whether through divorce, death or accident, generally single parenthood is not something we plan. Neither is having a child with special needs. Yet in this day and age, in NJ, where autism rates have hit 1 in 60 boys and ADD, ADHD and learning disabilities are growing at such a fast clip, I have come to learn that I am far from alone.

Single parenting a child with special needs can be an overwhelming task. The learning curve is steep. On top of the alphabet soup of new responsibilities — from EI (Early Intervention) to IEP (Individualized Education Plan) — we have to learn to juggle. Keeping all those balls up in the air — the therapies, the tutoring, medical appointments, special foods, etc. on top of the usual single parenting demands of paying the bills, cooking, cleaning the house, etc. can make anyone dizzy. Rather than dropping the ball, we ‘special’ single parents have no choice but to learn to be super-organized and super-prioritized.

This regular column on special needs parenting will provide tips from special single parents for special single parents on how to maintain your sense of direction when all hell may be breaking loose around you. First of all, take advantage of the fact that you are not alone. Join a support group. Nowadays there are groups of parents with most any special need or avenue of intervention on the internet. Seek out like-minded parents at www.yahoogroups.com, www.meetup.com, or look for support groups though your local hospital child development center. Generally the social worker can give you recommendations. It may seem like expending your time in yet another place will only bring more overload, but believe me, connecting with others who have been there and beyond can provide welcome recommendations, advice and friendships that will see you through the difficult moments.

Put up a sign on your bulletin board as a reminder: “Don't forget to take care of MOM.” We special single moms tend to get down on ourselves all the time with all the “should-haves.” Comparing ourselves to the “perfect mom” in our mind’s eye always leaves us deficient. Yet, all we can do is our best. My special child needs me so much. And in my heart I know that he (and his non-special needs sibling) have the same special need for LOVE more than anything else.

- Mary Hernandez

From the New Magazine Just For Single Parents: SP Magazine

To subscribe online: www.spmagazine.net
To subscribe by mail: Send check or money order made payable to SP Magazine (1-Year $24 or 2-Years $40):
SP Magazine, LLC
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or email: diane@spmagazine.net

Kids Activity (Floating Ghost)

Give this spirited specter a little push to get it moving -- Then let partygoers conjure up guesses as to what keeps it floating eerily just above the floor.

CRAFT MATERIALS:

• Lightweight white craft wire
• Clear tape
• White tissue paper
• Lemon
• Black Marker

1. Tape 2 pieces of 12-inch-long white craft wire in criss-cross fashion to a 14-inch square of double-layer white tissue paper.
2. Trim the paper into a circle, cutting through the wire, then flip over the tissue and set it over a lemon. Use your hands to loosely mold the center of the paper over the lemon to form a ghost head, then use a black marker to add facial details.
3. Concealing the lemon, place the ghost on the floor or a table and give it a nudge to set it in motion.

Find other fun activities at www.familyfun.com

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Have you heard about ‘Sweetheart Scams’?

Read Kathy Schwadel's book for more great information

Read an excerpt

Online thieves have discovered a lonely heart is a vulnerable one, and are making dating sites their new playgrounds.  Some will court you, to win your affection and trust, sending teddy bears, flowers and gifts over a period of months; since they have multiple scams going at once, they can take their time to win you over, lulling you into a false sense of security.  Others will come on strong right away, calling you first thing in the morning and last thing at night, declaring they’ve never felt such a strong connection.  Both prey on your sense of hopefulness, usually live far away, and once they’ve got you emotionally hooked, they go in for the kill.  They refuse to put off meeting you another minute longer and pretend to show good faith by telling you they tried to purchase a plane ticket but their card was turned down—must be that private nurse they had to get last week when their child was hospitalized—or some such heart-tugging story, that put them over their credit limit.  Can you lend them a few hundred dollars?  They’ll pick up the rest and pay you back in two weeks.  Not wanting to appear untrusting, you figure, hey, if he (or she) is paying half, this can’t be a scam, so you do it.  They cash your check and that’s the last you hear of them.

Hold onto your money or you may find yourself losing more than your heart.  

Fun Recipes

These cupcakes with "cobwebs"
make a perfect spooky treat for your favorite ghouls.

Ingredients:

• 1 pkg. (18.25 oz.) devil's food or yellow cake mix
• 2 (2.1 oz. each) NESTLÉ BUTTERFINGER Candy Bar, chopped
• 1 container (16 oz.) prepared vanilla frosting
• 1 cup (6 oz.) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels
• 1 small tube white decorator icing or gel
• 1 pkg. (1.38 oz.) NESTLÉ GOOBERS Milk Chocolate-Covered Peanuts

Find other Fun Recipes at VeryBestBaking.com

Share Your Fun Recipe Ideas with the AskMeAboutMyKids.com Community